Suffering from chronic back pain? This might help!
‘Might’ because I ain’t no expert. I’m just sharing from own experience. I don’t want to make any promises here but maybe offer you a new perspective.
What inspired me to write about this, was that at the beginning of Spring, I finally felt the urge to move my body again, after what felt like a long hibernation. I returned to the Yoga studio where I haven’t stepped foot for the past 4 years because of, you guessed it: chronic back pain.
Rewind 4 years ago: Yoga was not only a hobby but also my work. It was my second home, my go-to place, where all my friends met, where I taught and practiced. Teaching was what I had been wanting to do for a whole decade so the transition was not easy. And I’d love to share more about the struggles but in this post I’d like to focus on what I’ve learnt throughout this painful journey, I will say this though: it was not easy at all! And I feel for all of you reading if you experience some kind of chronic back pain!
My main message for you today is: it can actually get better! It’s NOT all going downhill from here!
I was 29 when I started to experience pain. At the beginning, I WAS thinking: OMG what am I going to look like when I’m 60?! Especially the days I was bent forward and couldn’t straighten up! But I learned to believe that I was actually going to feel much better 30 years from then! I had listened to enough Dr. Joe Dispenza’s stories to actually really believe in it!
So that would be my first point, to not go into the fear because it’s only going to make things worse, stress is not good, we all know that! It makes your muscles tighten and weakens the immune system. So instead, trust that your body has the wisdom to heal itself and that it won’t be like that forever but you gotta believe it and if you don’t it’s okay, maybe you need to remember a couple examples when your body healed itself in the past so that you trust that it won’t be like that forever. Maybe you need to hear a few magical stories from people who have healed themselves, like Dr. Joe Dispenza (and those of his students) or Donna Eden or anybody who healed from any kind of chronic illness.
Accepting your current situation will also help. It will help to not put additional stress on the body or be in resistance about it in your mind and vice versa. Sure it’s hard, it sucks, there are things you cannot do anymore and I’m not saying that’s an easy step but it will help to do some kind of grieving of your former life with the things you could do, attend to, practice… Give yourself time to heal and trust that you will get better at some point. Really trust. Know it deep inside. I always knew I would be able to move again. Now, I’m nowhere near what used to be but I know it’s slowly coming and even if it would not, I would be fine with it. I can have a new hobby/job/life. It was definitely not easy but the advantage of having done many different jobs and having lived in different places, almost lived different lives in a decade alone, was that I non-intentionally practiced not being attached to a specific career/life. That being said, it’s been REALLY nice going back to the yoga studio because even if I find some things weird now, I’ve gone back to something I REALLY like!
You could also ask yourself: is the pain serving me in some way? Now that’s a trigger warning but be honest with yourself you don’t have to tell anyone, notice if when you are in pain, someone is (finally) taking care of you, if there are things you ‘cannot do even though you’d love to!’ or so you think/say, or maybe you need(ed) a well-deserved break that you don’t allow yourself to take and your body makes you?! I know it can be harsh to see things from that perspective but just try, play along. Often when we have the flue it sucks because we have to cancel all our plans and work, etc. but also we can finally read that book we’ve had on our shelf for the past 6 months, we can make nourishing food, we can finally chill! Often we don’t allow ourselves to do so. The mind doesn’t allow the body so the body speaks louder and it always wins!
Just like I talked about: listening to your body for answers regarding decision making, on episode 2, you can also ask your body: what does this pain mean? What’s up? What’s wrong? Like you would ask a little kid who comes towards you when he/she gets hurt, you ask him/her gently, with care and curiosity, (not yelling at him/her unless you are a French mother ;)) Be open for the way you receive the answer!
I did that last winter. Like I would ask a kid, I asked my right hip: what’s up? What do you want to tell me? At the same time I was listening to a podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert who was the guest. A few seconds after I asked that question to my body she said to the host (and me): my Guru in India said: any talent that you have, you do not use, becomes pain! Ok thanks Liz!
If you want to dig deeper, you can journal about the following questions:
Around what time did it start? And what was happening in my life at that moment? Was there some kind of change or novelty?
What did I do while or just before pain started to show up?
Are there situations where I don’t experience pain like on holiday for example?
If you find it hard to answer those questions, maybe consider seeing a coach or therapist. It’s always easier to have someone holding space for you and who helps you dig deeper.
Also, trying alternative therapies could be fun, like acupuncture, cranio-sacral therapy, osteopathy... What I recommend in general is to go see someone who knows how to make the connection between body and mind (and soul even better). Choose someone you feel comfortable with, your intuition will know. One of the first therapist I went to when the pain started was an osteopath who after the 3rd time asked me: how old are you? And when I told him, he frowned saying something like: mmmh you are fucked! I never went back! Choose someone who won’t treat you like your life is over but someone who believes in the healing power of your own body!
And sometimes it’s okay to not know! Time will tell or help. One of my cranio-sacral therapy teacher didn’t do anything for his back pain for 7 years! He simply trusted it would take care of itself and it did! You just need patience :P easier said than done I know! That’s why I wanted to share the process above! Also he spent a lot of time in meditation, stillness and silence which was where the healing came from.
My last 2 points:
gentle movement is my go-to! Gentle stretches and walking
anti-inflammatory food could be something to consider: having a clean diet (lots of organic fruits & veggies, good quality oils, fish, meat, nuts…) together with reducing or avoiding inflammatory foods like caffeine, sugar, dairy, wheat, alcohol, processed stuff.
To sum up:
Avoid spiraling into fear which creates more stress for the body (= more pain)
Accept that right now that’s how it is, which will also help with the stress
Ask yourself if the pain is serving you in some way
Ask yourself if you need a break, you are not taking
Like you would ask a child when he/she gets hurt, ask your body: what are you trying to tell me right now?
Journal to investigate about your pain: when did it first show up, what were you doing, with whom were you…
Try alternative therapies
Try gentle movement, walking is great!
Try a cleaner diet
Take care and let me know if you have any question!
