Christine Gerber Rutt is an Intuition Mentor & Coach based in Basel, Switzerland.
We recorded this episode in the Summer 2020 and because of background noises I didn’t publish it but decided to finally release it in the form of text instead.
You can find Christine on IG: @christinegerberrutt
or on her website: christinegerberrutt.com
Christine
We know from psychology that the images reach you faster than the words. So if you, for example, look at this, you'll register that the Pomegranate seeds are red before you'll register that they are Pomegranate seeds, the image will come to you before the word will come to you, which is interesting cause that's also the way intuition works. You get the sensation, whether that's an image or a feeling or whatever your specific way of getting intuition is, you'll get that first and then you have to put it into words.
Ophelie
Can we talk about the specific ways of how intuition works?
Christine
I think a lot of people get really complicated about it. And that really kind of pisses me off because it's actually really simple and well, it is different for each person. There's all these different ways: you can see messages, you can hear messages, some people can smell messages, some people can taste messages, some people can sense messages and all of these different ways. But ultimately in the end, they're all the physical senses. And it's a sensation really in the end. So what happens to me often with clients is that they'll come to me for a card reading, for a mentorship or whatever, and they're trying to figure something out. And in the process of trying to figure that out, I'll be like, well, where are you feeling that in your body? So it's like if you're trying to choose if you wanna get a coffee or an apple juice, this is really perhaps a bad example, but you can think about the coffee and think about how you feel that in your body when you think about having the coffee. And then you can think about the juice apple juice and think about how do I feel in my body about the apple juice and where do I feel it? And then you start just exploring that and getting curious. It's like, what is that sensation? Oh, I feel that in my stomach. It's feeling a little bit tight
Ophelie
Because of past experiences?
Christine
Eventually, yes, you'll be able to start seeing patterns in how you get this information because there's always patterns. And you'll know that when I have this specific sensation in my stomach, that means that this is something that I want to do. But when I have it like this, that means it's something I don't want to do. And you can only figure that out with experience and getting it right. So that's why it's really great to start to pay attention in the patterns and start to put words to these sensations. But everyone knows if they have a gut feeling or not.
One of the things that typically, and for me too of course is one of the ways you typically go off course is when you start trying to figure it out with your mind.
It’s really hard for me because I'm a really logical mental person. I love the brain. It's one of my favorite body parts. The brain is so awesome, but it really messes you up. The brain isn't actually made to make decisions. The brain is made to gather information and then your intuition is actually what is supposed to guide you in making your decision. And you take that information into your brain so your brain can translate it into language or into actions so that it can be communicated to other people. But your brain actually isn't supposed to be making the decisions. It's a horrible decision maker. If you take it to your brain, your brain will be able to figure out 10 different ways to do one thing. And I mean you see this a lot in business with entrepreneurs. There's a trillion different ways you can do marketing and some work better than others.
And your brain will most likely make a decision based on safety and comfort and what it knows what everyone else is saying to do. And this is all survival brain. Again, in psychology, if you look at the Maslow's pyramid, the lowest level of the pyramid, which is human needs, the Maslow's pyramid is basic human needs that people have. The lowest level is physiology, which is eating, drinking, temperature, control. And these are all things that are just about survival. And when your brain's making decisions, it's making decisions on that level. What will keep me alive? So whether you're talking about entrepreneurs doing marketing, your brain’s decision will say, right, what will keep me alive? What's safe, what's comfortable? I'm going to do that. And the problem is that it's not always compatible with actually you and your own energy patterns.
So if you're getting marketing advice from an online coach who believes that you should have a pyramid scheme when actually, this happened with one of my clients, she thought this is that she had to do a lot of marketing, a lot of Facebook posts and Instagram posts and all of this. So I'm looking at her and you're listening to what she's saying. And then another thing I work with is life archetypes. So I looked at her life archetype, which is just your how you do what you do, it's an energy pattern. And I'm looking at her life archetype and I'm like, honey, you're a hermit. You don't actually want to be on social media at all. And so we started looking at how it actually works for her. And it was really clear that what works for her is word of mouth.
She just has to do her job really well and put her effort into that. And her clients are recommending other people to come to her. So she made a few tweaks to her marketing, which meant that she basically stopped marketing. And I actually just got a message from her last week and she was in, I think it's been maybe a year, six months, a year, I don't remember. My time is all messed up as everyone else is at the moment. She was like, I am fully booked! My business has exploded since I started actually doing what works for me. So it's a balance of intuition, logic, but it's like this cycle of always taking it back to your intuition, always taking it back to your physical sensations of: does this decision actually fit me? How does that feel in my body? And it's always taking it back to your intuition to make sure it's the right choice for you. Yeah, it's kind of how I see it. I just talked a lot.
Ophelie
It's great! So by the way you're Christine. And you are from the US. Just briefly introducing you. You lived in Qatar and now you're here and she's taking the cards out. I love it. And you released a card deck.
Christine
Yes. Sincerely, your intuition.
Ophelie
You pick a card every day that you share on Instagram.
Christine
I just share thoughts about what comes up around the card. Sometimes it's just the card itself, what the card means. Sometimes it's just connecting the card to current events that are happening in the world. So it's basically everything is always getting the bigger picture because we often get stuck in the details of life. So I find that when you can get out of the little details and see the bigger picture and then zoom back in on the details, it makes much more sense. And cards really help you do that. So it's also when you're trying to make a decision, like you were saying earlier, and you're getting all stuck in your head, the cards are one of those things that can jolt you out of your head and help you see it from a different perspective. So that's when I often use cards when I'm trying to make decisions because it's like: what am I not seeing? What am I getting stuck at?
Ophelie
That's how you start your day?
Christine
No, I start my day with a cup of coffee. I usually wake up at about four in the morning, anytime between two and six. I wake up, it's often around four and I always get a cup of coffee in the morning and I just sit on the sofa and just look at the sunrise. Usually it's a typical way. Typical way I start my morning and the cards usually don't come till late.
Ophelie
And by the way, we were planning to do a Sunrise podcast on Friday, but since the temperature was not super warm, we decided not to.
Christine
We also would've had to get up. We would've had to be there at 5:30 to see the sunrise.
Ophelie
And I never get up at that time!
Christine
<laugh> most people. That's why I love it. It's so wonderful. I mean the other thing is I love just doing things that are a little bit out of the ordinary and kind of jolt your routine every once in a while because it really helps you to, again, it gets you to see things from a different perspective. Most people get really stuck in their own groove. And I mean it's actually a beautiful city. There's so many different ways you can experience it. And I think that's really important to be really in touch with the city that you live in and really, really explore where you live physically. Because anytime you're trying to do something, you're not in an isolated vacuum within a community, whether you like it or not, you're in a community and you're not going to be effective if you can't communicate what you're trying to do to the community. And you can't communicate what you're trying to do effectively if you don't know the community. So that's one of the reasons I do things like go out at Sunrise and see the sunrise and experience the city from a totally different point of view.
Ophelie
So you go for walks every day, every morning?
Christine
I try to go for walks every day, but I don't always succeed.
Ophelie
How does a typical day, I know that entrepreneurs usually don't have a typical day, but would you like to share what you do on a ‘typical’ day?
Christine
Typically, I will get up around four o'clock in the morning and have some coffee. And in the mornings I really like to just do whatever I feel like doing. I don't ever schedule any client sessions or anything before two in the afternoon, preferably three, just because I know that my life archetype is an Empress and it's really about this luxurious, luscious kind of meandering kind of energy. And so I've found that in the mornings if I just really take the time to do whatever I feel like doing, it completely changes how I show up. I've just noticed this is the way for me specifically. So I'll often read cards, maybe I'll do some kind of further education, whatever I'm learning at the moment. Cause I'm constantly learning new things. Sometimes I'll go to the gym, I go somewhere to lift weights. So that's something I do regularly. At 12 o'clock my kids come home for lunch and we have lunch together. And then usually in the afternoon I'll have reserved for client sessions and throughout the day, depending on what's happening. I'll do some writing that actually often happens in the morning.
Ophelie
So you're also a writer?
Christine
Yes, I am. I haven't been doing a lot of public writing. I used to be a travel writer and I stopped that when I moved back from Qatar. So I'm getting back into writing and I'm trying to figure out exactly how I want that to come out now. If it's going to be in the form of a book or if it's going to be in the form of classes, or if it's going to be in the form of workshops or
Ophelie
Teach other people. You mean?
Christine
Not teaching other people writing but sharing what I write with other people. So I'm trying to figure out what format I want to share it in right now. I used to write in a magazine, which is funny because I just found old copies of it cuz I had to get something out of the basement. And I brought it up and my kids started reading it. They're 15 and 20 and one of my daughters, the 20 year old, she's starts crying. She was like, this is so beautiful. And then my 15 year old sitting there, she's just laughing. And she was like, this is so hilarious. So I'm thinking of how I can start to incorporate that in my life more in a more public way.
Ophelie
Nice.
Christine
We'll see.
Ophelie
You used to do this Archetype thing with a friend of yours?
Christine
Yes. So I worked for a company called Moravena Lifestyle. I helped with the design layout content editing and publications, management for the magazines and publications. And the topic is archetypes, which is basically your energy patterns. It's how you do what you do. I mean, we know archetypes from psychology, and this is just a specific way of seeing what each individual's specific pattern is because each person has a specific pattern. So you can see in people, they tend to do things in one way. So mine is an Empress. So when I do things, I tend to meander. I mean, you can even tell when I'm talking here, I'll kind of meander. But someone like a Charioteer will be super direct, super linear, super focused, super I'm going from point A to point B and there's nothing that's going to stop me in between.
So when you start to understand those energy patterns and start to understand how you naturally do things, it's so much easier to do things, which I mean for me, it shows up in things. How do I schedule my day? I tend to schedule as little as possible. I tend to just be more like, I have to get this stuff done today and let's just make sure it gets done before I go to sleep. And I tend to have a lot of different projects at one time and tend to do that. Whereas again, a Charioteer would have one project and if a Charioteer has more than one project, they are in all likelihood not going to be able to finish any of their projects. They need to have one focal point and they need to be able to go. So that's something I really work with my clients as well because it's just makes a massive difference in how people operate.
And if you don't understand how you do things, you just tend to try doing it the way other people do things. So I mean, going back to entrepreneurs, most of the people that teach how to do a business teach the way that an emperor would do business. The Emperor is always trying to push their boundaries. They're trying to secure their kingdom and it's just like, it's a completely different energy. Do you know Human Design also? Yes. <laugh>. I've just gotten into that. I mean, I've heard about it years ago and I just recently got into that and learning about specifically the decision making style and how that affects how you make decisions. So I've actually started to incorporate that into my work as well.
Ophelie
Is it similar then?
Christine
No. The archetypes, no, because they compliment each other perfectly. Because the archetypes is how you do what you do. So it's like, you can think about it when you're walking, how do you walk? Some people walk fast, some people walk slow, some people meander, some people go in a straight line. That would be an easy way to see it. But how you do things is also how do you do business? How do you do relationships? How do you do your free time? It's all the same underlying energy pattern. And the Human Design specifically with the decision making thing is how do you make decisions? And the archetypes would then kind of inform that, right? So they kind of balance each other really beautifully. And that's what I like about all these systems. You can get a little bit from each of them.
Ophelie
I love all that stuff, but my partner hates them, because he says: it puts you in a box. What would you tell him?
Christine
I would say well, let's look at that box and see if it's accurate. Because maybe it is and maybe it isn't. However, I have yet to find anyone who says it's not accurate. And I hate boxes. I, for me, freedom is the most important value I have over everything. And my second one is connection, which is really a huge conflict with each other. So when I hear these things about, well this is how you are. If it's astrology or human designer or archetypes or whatever system you're talking about, it's like, I don't wanna be put in a box. But sometimes you have to look at the box and say, is that box accurate? And I don't know that it's actually a box now that I think about it. It's kind of like a guidance.
I kind of think of it as a floor or a foundation. It's kind of like if you wanna get traction in your life as a human, you have to have your feet literally on the ground. So it might help to have the proper footwear. And it kind of feels like if you give your power away to the system and say, I can only do it like this, that's a problem. But if you hear something, I'm a hermit. And you can understand that big picture again. And then you get to decide what that looks like in your life. So a hermit likes to go in their cave and think things through and then come out of their cave and they're like, oh, I have a great idea and let me share it with the world!
Ophelie
Yes, it helps me. The Human Design helps me not to feel guilty about, for example: taking it slow in the morning and then going to work in the afternoon quite late, most people don't do it this way.
Christine
It really increases your effectiveness and your efficiency. I've noticed that when I rest, when I'm tired and then start working when I'm finished resting and ready to work again, it completely changes my efficiency. I get stuff done so much faster.
Ophelie
Yes. What is that account you've you shared today?
Christine
Oh, the nap ministry. If you don't know the nap ministry, you have to go check them out. They're just saying rest. If you need a nap, take a nap. And yesterday I actually took three naps. It was brilliant. And it's also happened a lot of times where I'm trying to figure something out and I'm doing this typical pushing kind of thing and I'm realizing I'm just really tired. So I'll go take a nap and I'll make sure I put paper beside me. This happened last week. I was supposed to teach a master class for a colleague of mine and I was trying to write the outline and figure out how I wanna do it. And I just was getting nowhere. So I took a nap, put a piece of paper and pen beside me. And when I woke up for my nap an hour later, the paper was filled with an outline for the masterclass. I had written it in my sleep. Whoa. I mean it's brilliant. I know. It's multitasking. It's brilliant. It's so cool.
Ophelie
It's like sleepwalking!
Christine
I do remember writing, but I don't remember it. I know that I was kind of going in and out of sleep and writing things down as I was waking, but I would've never remembered anything that I wrote.
Ophelie
Do you meditate?
Christine
I do not
Ophelie
<laugh>. You take naps!
Christine
Meditation drives me nuts. I know traditional meditation drives me nuts. I think walking is meditation. I think nap is meditation. I think drinking coffee is meditation
I think a lot of people think of meditation as this, sit cross-legged and try to empty your mind of your thoughts. And I just don't find that very helpful for me. I, I admire people who can do that.
Ophelie
I did a 10 day Vipassana silent retreat over New Year. It was great and awful of course! But the effects after were amazing!
Christine
I mean, I think that's one of the wonderful things about starting to be honest with yourself about who you are and what works for you and what doesn't. Like, if it works for you to do sitting meditation, you should absolutely do it. If it doesn't work for you, you should absolutely not do it. And I think this is why so many people get in trouble because they're trying to tell everyone else to do the thing that works for them. And everyone's starting to feel guilty and shamed and blamed and judged and criticized and it's just stupid. It just doesn't make sense.
Ophelie
I agree, but I also think that you are so intuitive that you know what's good for you.
Christine
And I think everyone can be, of course when we're young, we're taught not to be. And it's actually quite easy to get in tune because you have to get in tune with your body. It's literally your physical body. It's not your mind. It's not some kind of up in the air thing. And that I think when you can make that mindset shift, that belief shift, so many people who talk about intuition talk about it as if it's something coming in through your third eye and that it's so up in the air. But it's actually, intuition is really physical and human so much that we ignore it because especially spiritual people are like the body is, I don't know, less than somehow. And I'm like, no, actually. So you don't consider yourself a spiritual, I grew up in a severely restrictive religious background.
My dad's family was black bumper Mennonite, which is basically the Amish, I dunno if you know of them, but it's kind of like the Amish who ride around in horse and buggies and don't have modern technology. It's basically like them. But with cars. But black cars with black interiors. And they're called black bumper because the bumpers couldn't be chrome or silver. They had to be painted black. So everything was black. So was there a reason for that? Yes, very much. The reason is that they want to separate themselves from society. Cuz in a nutshell, I'm trying not to swear here. <laugh> in a nutshell, society is not what they want to be like because they're like, this just doesn't make sense. So it's a separation thing from society and showing visibly that they're different. They dress differently. You could see from a mile away you can see that it's someone that's Amish or Mennonite.
So my dad came from that background, no radios really plain dress covered. Women's hair had to be covered, couldn't wear belts. Men had to wear suspenders because belts were somehow too modern and evil. Just a lot of stuff that's not logical, but apparently works for them. And then my dad married my mom who came from a non-religious family and they started in actually a mystical sect of the Protestant of Christianity. Evangelical, charismatic, Mennonites, Christians. And anyway, so super religious. So I don't call myself spiritual because I have still too much baggage I have to work through. But this is a religion. It's not what you just described. Absolutely. It's a religion. And I understand the difference between religion and spirituality. The problem that I have and that so many people that I know have is that it messes you up so strongly and so badly that you don't want to ever go into anything that's even similar. Of course, with my need for freedom, I'm like, don't call it that. I don't wanna call it spirituality. It is of course, but I don't like the term that looks like the box. I don't want that box.
But yeah I take this in a shamanic journey course right now. And in that she was saying something one time where she was talking about this, what some people would call God or the universe or whatever, which I've never found a term that works for me. There's never been. So the closest I've come to now was the term whatever, and that was from Martha Beck. But in this class she said something about connecting with the mystery and the magic. And I was like, yes, that's what it is. We have no clue what it is. It's very mysterious, it's very magical. And any attempt to put any name on it other than that just seems inaccurate for me. It's like it's not the universe. The universe is something else. Actually the universe is the stars. It's the space. This is the universe. This isn't, it's not the mystery and the magic, the mystery and the magic is the things. We don't know what it is. And I loved that.
Martha Beck is a life coach that in the US, she's been Oprah's life coach for about over 10 years or something like that. She's an amazing author. She has a lot of books out that I highly recommend that everyone read. Seriously. The best one is finding, I think it's finding your way in a wild new world. So it talks about very spiritual things, but in a really human way. And without using the typical spiritual terminology. So it doesn't talk about meditation, it doesn't talk about mindfulness, it doesn't talk about manifesting. It doesn't use those words at all in the entire book. It's really a great way of just being like, how do you empty your mind? Wordless is what she calls it. How do you go into wordless, right?
Totally went down another path that you were wanting. Right? See that's my meander. It's great. I love it. Oh my god.
Ophelie
I wanted to ask you about the cards. Did you write them yourself?
Christine
Yes, it was over a period of a year. I would start again while I was sleeping. I would wake up and I would have these sentences in my mind and I started writing them down. It was often when I was sleeping that I would get them sometimes when I was in the middle of reading something. My intuition works very strongly through words and communication.
Ophelie
You teach people how to communicate also
Christine
Now that's a huge thing! But with the card, so it was just kind of these sentences were popping up and so I wrote them down at the end. I think I had about 200 of them written down over a period of a year. So I decided to make cards out of them and then people wanted to buy them.
Ophelie
Did you know at the beginning that you were going to make cards?
Christine
No, no. I had always had an idea to perhaps do something maybe sort of like that. But it's one of those things as most creative projects go, it develops as you do. Yeah.
Ophelie
Cool. I'll probably be getting one by the end of this conversation!
Christine
I just find them really great, because they're really clear. It says things like ‘stop chasing loneliness’. This one is really frustrating cuz it indicates that you're probably doing something that's making you isolate from the community that you're in, that you're stuck in a rut, whatever action you are taking right now, you were probably doing it. And it's creating isolation between you and others and division actually as well. So it always depends on the situation that you're pulling a card about, but ‘stop chasing loneliness’ or ‘make radical collaboration your practice’. I mean those two together just seriously, that's just a very clear indicator. If you come to a question of what should I do in this situation? And you pull these two cards, it's just a really clear indicator that you need to be working together with others in a different way and then figuring out how that is.
However, if you pull a different card that ‘your truth lives in your body’ and ‘reclaim your voice’, then I'm telling you, I'm just randomly picking these cards. Yeah, yeah. Random. Those two cards together give a completely different message. It's not about the community, it's about you. Then when you're talking about your truth lives in your body and reclaim your voice, it's like, right, get back to you. What is it that your body's telling you to do? Where are you not using your voice? Where have you given your voice away? And listen to your body as you're exploring that so you can figure out where your voice actually is and how you can do whatever it is you need to do regardless of the community around you, regardless of what's around you. So yeah, that's how they work. Yeah, that's awesome.
Ophelie
So you teach people how to communicate in life in general and at work. Do you want to share?
Christine
The first thing is always I think that everyone pretty much that's alive now grew up being told how to think, what to do, how to be, it's like this socialization and it's been very much in a hierarchical pattern of you fit into an already existing mold that society has decided is okay and don't go outside that more. And depending on what culture you grow up in, depends on what that mold looks like. And I had the benefit I'm now seeing as a benefit of having multiple cultures. When I grew up, I had four different cultures that I was going through. My dad's native language was not English and he had a totally different culture. His family, my mom's family had a totally different culture they created. Went into another group that had a totally different culture. So I could see that when I went from one family to another family, what I was supposed to do was different. How I was supposed to communicate was different. And so I learned very early that where you tells you who you should be, but none of them are actually who I am.
So it's like, so it's a process of seeing when you're talking about communication, and this is what I'm teaching my clients is who are you, figure that out first, regardless of the society, who are you as a person? What are your skills, interests, talents, what nourishes you? Look at that, be honest about it, be really super honest about it. And if you're not being honest about it, I'll hear it in your voice or I'll read it in your words and I'll be able to point it out to you. And then you can take that into your body and see if that's true or not for you. And then we keep going in that cycle. And then you also have to go look at the community you're in and how does that community, how can they receive that communication? How can they actually hear what you're trying to say?
Because if you're trying to say something in Switzerland to a Swiss school teacher, this was an experience I had recently. I had to go talk to my daughters Swiss school teacher who's like 60 years old, has been teaching for 30 plus years. Super conservative, super old fashioned, super, really messing things up for my daughter in a massive way. And I had to go talk to him. And so I was like, right, how do I actually communicate so he can hear it? This is the truth, this is the information I need to convey. How do I do that?
So how do you stay true to yourself and communicate that trueness to others? And so it's kind of figure out who you are, decide who you are and show us who you are.
Ophelie
And so you need to be able to read the other person pretty well also to know how you are going to say things?
Christine
It depends on what your goal is and depends on what result you're trying to find. Like with this teacher, my goal was to have a radical collaboration. My goal really was in the best interest of my daughter. How can we have this conversation so that together we are working together so that it's to the benefit of my daughter. And that required a really specific tactic, which it was very unfamiliar to me personally. And doing that tactic in a way that was aligned with who I am as a person, right? Because I'm totally about almost radical honesty with myself and communicating that with others. And in this situation, it was possible. In fact, it ended up being a brilliant, unprecedented communication with this teacher.
Ophelie
All in Swiss German.
Christine
All in Swiss German, yes. <laugh>, that too. It's pretty impressive. But then I've also had other times where I've wanted to communicate something and my goal was to express who I am as I am and if the other person gets it or not, did not matter to me. So this is marketing for example. When I'm doing marketing, I'm not looking to see, how can I say this in a way that you get it. I'm looking to see how can I say this in a way that I'm saying what I wanna say and whoever wants to hear it gets it. And if you don't get it, you're not my people. And I'm not in any way concerned about that because I don't care. I'm not putting my effort into changing that communication so that you understand better. But if we're talking about something, and this just happened yesterday in the States, there's this huge, huge racial division that's happening right now.
And so I was on some online forums kind of checking white women who were saying stuff that's microaggressions, racism. And trying to educate them on why what they were saying was racist. And there my goal is to educate. When you're trying to educate, you have to use a language the other person can understand. And that meant not using words like racism and white supremacy because that immediately puts up a block. And so this is how communication is a really fluid thing and it really helps to know who you are, the community that you're in, and wanting to communicate to what your role is in the communication. And the biggest mistake that people make here is they think they're saying one thing, but they're actually not. I mean, this is the biggest thing. You see this on websites all the time where you see this on offers or something. It's like you think you're saying one thing and communicating one thing and you're so off and that's just a small tweak and then you're good. And again, it's aligned between yourself, the outside world and making that those two fit.
Ophelie
Do you use non-violent communication?
Christine
I don't actively use it. I know people that do but that's not something I've ever, ever gotten really, really deep into. I come from, and I think part of that is because I come from a background that's pacifist. And so it's a natural part of what I do anyway, so I actually should look into that a little bit. I've never put a lot of focus.
Ophelie
I'm pretty sure you do it without knowing
Christine
Probably, my whole background is from pacifism and nonviolence,
Ophelie
Something totally different. This sentence came up, it said: Swiss as fuck, Swiss AF. Do you have anything to say about that? Any example? Some funny experience anecdote?
Christine
I don't, and that's really surprising. And it's not because I don't get the concept and it's not because I haven't experienced it, but I am noticing, and this is very new for me. No, I do have something. So for me, <laugh>, okay, I had to think about that one for a little bit. So let me finish what I was going to say. So I'm finding that this duality of it has to be either this or this. I'm really getting away from that. And so this sentence, who says fuck? It's a little bit of a duality. It's like, it's kind of like that's not really helping anyone I know. However, it's also true, it's funny, however, it's funny, and I've never heard the phrase before, this is totally new to me. But the thing that drives me nuts about the culture that we live in is that it tends to be very, very, very judgmental and criticizing and telling you how you should do things.
This is of course a complaint that most people have that are not from this culture. Of course every culture has this, right? The Swiss just feel that if they express this to you, this is actually how they express their love. Which is really confusing because I'm like, I'm sorry, but this just is actually not how you show love. And so I find it's a really interesting exercise in humanity and communication. Cuz recently I have been starting to recognize that what is done when this is done, it's actually violence. When I am criticized by someone else, when I am told by someone else what to do when I am judged this is emotional, this is emotional violence and I'm actually not available for that. And I just wrote about this on Instagram recently, but I've been having scores of react scores of chances to practice this.
And I've been practicing this for the past few weeks. Regularly something will happen and I'll be like, you are judging me. You are telling me what to do. You are criticizing me. You are passive aggressive, leaning on me, whatever. And I'm actually not available for that. And I've started to very matter of factly as much as possible. Matter of fact, tell them, depending on the situation, that's actually not cool for you to say that. What you're saying is I don't know. I shouldn't be who I am and that's not who I am. So whatever. I could give a specific example. I went to the gym for the first time after quarantine and used the hand sanitizer and the trainer. It was a mix between making fun of me, chastising me, how could you not know better? Because I used the wrong one. There were two different sanitizers. There was one outside the door that you were supposed to use for your hands when you came in, which I didn't even recognize as hand sanitizer at all. And then there was another hand sanitizer which was apparently for the machines.
They looked totally different and it wasn't written on them. And in this case, 20 years ago, this would have literally put me into a spiral of depression about 25 years ago, I was severely depressed. A lot of because just dealing with living in this country that thrives on or believes that love is shown by telling people how to do things by criticizing. And I lived with my Swiss in-laws at that time, so I was having it nonstop 24 hours a day and I just couldn't cope. So I actually became suicidal and it was the really extreme case scenario. So I'm super sensitive to these things and I notice 'em. And of course that's how I grew up as well. It was the same thing, different place, but same thing. So when I hear things like this now, it was so rewarding for me to hear this train or tell me this, just basically saying, you're an idiot, you're stupid. How could you not know better? And I just looked at her and being like, how could you not label it?
I said, well, if you would label it, it would make it easier to see what's there. And it's like, I don't have to take that in. I don't have to absorb it. So this is boundaries
Ophelie
And this is recognizing that they react this way because of culture or their own insecurities or whatever. So once you know that, it gets easier.
Christine
I think it helps to also again, come out of the details and see the bigger picture and what's the bigger picture here? We're all humans and there are certain things that have happened between humans that in that dictate why we are treating each other the way we are. And I'm going to look at the bigger picture and be like, I'm not going to see you as a Swiss person. I'm going to see you as a human that's talking to me. And I don't like the way you're talking to me and I'm just not going to tolerate it. I don't care if I'm in your country and this is your culture, this is actually a shit way to treat people. And I'm just not available for that.
I know it's your culture, but I'm not available for that. And I'm not being a jerk by saying, I'm not going to let you treat me crap. That's actually not me being a jerk. So it's a really fine line between cultural sensitivity and understanding the culture you're in and also just humanity. Don't be a jerk, but both sides.
Ophelie
Beautiful answer. How did you learn Swiss German?
Christine
My answer to that is always I learned it the easy way. And that was by living seven years with my Swiss in-laws. So if that's the easy way, I really have a lot of sympathy for people who do it the hard way by going to classes. It's a very difficult language to learn. And for me it really was because I lived with my Swiss in-laws also because my dad, his native language was very, very similar to Swiss German. It was Pennsylvania, Dutch. And so I had that in my ear growing up. I never spoke it when I was a child. I couldn't speak with my dad's family. But it's so similar that I think trained my ear a little bit. And then living, I lived in Germany also for a year before I moved to Switzerland. And there I was immersed in the language. So I learned high German there first. And then I moved here and learned Swiss German. And it's really great because now when I see my dad's family, we can actually communicate in their native language because we understand each other. Oh, it's really wild. Kind of cool.
Ophelie
And your kids also speak both?
Christine
Yeah, Swiss German and English. Yeah. That's awesome.
Ophelie
Because I know a lot of expats here who don't really want to speak or cannot or whatever the reason.
Christine
Well, the interesting thing about languages is if you're coming here just for a few years, you have to be realistic. To learn a language to fluency, you need seven years. So if you want to do conversational German and really just the basics, you need 30 words. So when you start to see this, be realistic, what are you actually available for? And know what that requires, and are you willing to invest in what's required to get what it is you say you want? And if you're just here for a few years, there's no way you're going to be fluent. It's impossible. But I haven't been here just a few years. I'm an immigrant. I've got a Swiss passport. It's in my best interest to learn the language of the country I live in. Yeah. And I'm so grateful that I was able to learn it because it's a very, very hard language.
Ophelie
And makes you understand the culture also better.
Christine
I don't think the language helps me understand the culture so much. Interestingly enough, I think a lot of that has just been with my interactions with my husband and with his family specifically, that's helped me to understand the culture. Yeah, of course. The language is part of it. Yeah.
Ophelie
Do you speak Arabic too?
Christine
I did a little bit of Arabic, but when we lived in Qatar, the main language was English. The locals, there was the local, I can't remember what percentage the local population was. It was like, goodness, I don't even wanna say a percentage. But it was really, really low compared to international people. And there were people from all over the world. So English was the language. And I tried Arabic from four or five different teachers and it was just so challenging for me. And I think it's because the methods were, every single teacher started with teaching you the alphabet, which is a different script. And I just was like, I understand that's the way you're supposed to teach it, but I don't wanna learn it that way. I want to hear, I need to start speaking it. Yeah. Because I knew that's how I learned and I was never then able to find a teacher who would do it. It's fascinating. And I didn't pursue it to my regret. I wish I would've done that.
Ophelie
But then you came back here?
Christine
I came back here. My husband actually still lives there. And so when we were talking about maybe we should start taking classes again and learning it but we haven't got so much other stuff going on. So again, it's about priorities. You can't do everything. And you go there sometimes. Not now. We were there over Christmas for a little bit. And we are, based on the current situation, we're pretty sure we'll see him whenever his project is finished and he comes home cuz it's just too risky to fly at the moment, so we're looking at another year and a half. I've not seen each other. Oh wow. That'll be fun. So this is why good communication is really, really helpful.
Ophelie
Do you want to talk a little bit about the Corona period or not?
Christine
I would just briefly say, again, looking at the bigger picture that, because I think this is something a lot of people might not be seeing is that we are right now, we are in a transition phase of which the Corona is a part of it. It's not the whole of it, but it's a part of it. And this transition phase really is from a society of hierarchy to a society of collaboration. And we are in this transition period, and this is something that lots of different cultures talk about, ancient cultures talk about, this is something astrology talks about as well. You can actually, so we're moving from the age of, what is it, Pisces, into the age of Aquarius. And it's a period of transition of about a hundred years. And we've already done about 50 of those years. And we've got about 50 more in this transition.
So basically, what's happening is the structures and the systems that we used to have are going to start changing and new ones are going to be coming about. So we're in this transition now. And the virus really is helping that move along very quickly. And of course right now, for me, in the states, there's a huge I'm, cause I'm from the states, I'm following the riots that are going on there. And also my daughter comes every morning and tells me, it gives me an update on them. She's like, this is what's happening and this is who's doing what. And we're seeing that these systems, these white supremacist systems, these systems that are really based on hierarchy, the patriarchy, all of these things are starting to shift and change. And that's kind of the bigger view I keep seeing. And then in that I look at how do I look at my daily life and the details of what, since it's a period of transition, how can I make decisions now that are transitioning into creating this world that I want to be a part of, a world that's collaborating.
And so that's kind of the bigger picture I'm trying to keep in mind. And that helps me from going insane because it's like, wow.
Ophelie
Yeah, there's a lot going on. Yeah. Especially with your husband not here, not being able to travel.
Christine
Yes. He's been there for nine months now. He hasn't left the country since he's been there. And he probably won't leave now until his project is finished. He's working on a museum there, sports museum. So I'm a solo parent, so my 15 and 20 year old, and they're of course going through their own transitions. They're graduating from schools. And I won't be going to the states to visit my family because it's not possible. And just dealing with life, accepting in a foreign country, making the best out of it. It is what it is. Yeah. There's no, there's just no fighting it. And when you just say, right, this is with any decision you make, any life choice you make. So this is the reality of the situation. What are the negotiables? What am I going to do? Choosing from who I am. It's actually not that complicated. We make life so much more complicated than it has to be.
I was telling that to a friend yesterday. We asked ourselves way too many questions. I love questions. I totally get it. I do it myself. I mean, it's like, I'm not saying I do it the way I talk about it, but I strive for that. Simply that to basics. Yeah, just be yourself without being a jerk. But your true self, the self that comes from, I mean, here's the word, where the word spiritual would actually be very handy from your spiritual self as a human. Yeah. Well, I don't wanna like that word. I didn’t find a word yet for this. Yes, from your core self, from your magical self. True. I don't know. When I think of a word, I'll tell you <laugh>, but there's this thing inside that is higher than, better than the crap from that person, from the love. From the love, from your love self. Let's call it that. I love a phrase I heard a long time ago and it's called Love Louder. And I just love it because it's like, be vocal about it. Act like everything you do, everything you say, make it be love, make it come from love. Yeah. So love louder. And I just love that grace.
Ophelie
And how can people do that?
Christine
I think that the very first thing, it always, always comes back to loving yourself, being honest about who you are, being truthful about who you are. Not pretending, which doesn't mean you always have to show up as your positive self, but it's like, I'm just feeling like crap today, so I'm not going to come meet you. Or I am feeling really great today and you're feeling like crap. And that's okay. Like you let yourself be who you are. Let other people be who they are. And if you're not a match for each other, just leave each other alone. The world's big enough. Just go somewhere else. If you don't like a cafe, you go to a different one. It could be the same with people <laugh>.
You figure out what cafe you love because you love it and you go there. It's the same with people, it's the same with projects, it's the same with work, it's the same with everybody. It's a bit simplified, but actually in the end it's about that. Yeah. Love yourself and do what you love. Yes. Without being a jerk. Because you also have to love others. But if you truly, truly, truly love yourself, you love others, you will love others.
Ophelie
Thank you very much!