Why Self-Love is not taking a bubble bath or getting yourself flowers
Although I’m all for them! And they might be a good start even. Actually in my opinion, the best thing about them is that you will take time, pause, rest, be! The first step to become more aware of anything and of what i want to talk about here: the connection with either your core-self or core-selves and/ or -depending on what you believe in – the connection with something higher (Universe, God, your Angels, Spirit Guides, whatever resonates more with you). I will talk about it as ‘being connected’ or ‘the connection’.
As i’ve experienced it recently, with the guidance of my coach, when I am connected, I get into the trust zone, I surrender, I relax. I can lean back and let things happen, knowing that I am being guided, that things work FOR me, that there is a bigger thing awaiting, yet still appreciating the now, feeling gratitude for the little things, feeling in flow, aligned. I am so content with myself and my life as it is that there is no lack of any kind. I’m in a peaceful state. That’s Self-Love!
Am I in this state 24/7 though? Of course not! It takes work, practice and repetition. It’s constantly remembering to pause, taking a step back to become the observer of the emotions popping up. My coach would say: it’s a decision.
A personal example: the emotion that arises in me very easily is ANGER – my partner said to me recently: ‘I’m surprised you even do this work, cause you like to stay with your anger so much! Or maybe it’s just your cultural background!‘ Yeah I totally blame it on those french genes! – But it’s true I tend to cling onto this emotion and it’s hard work to detach from it, to come back to that connection, to not act or react on it. But when I remember to do it, it’s so worth it! Last week I read a quote in the book A Course in Miracles: Anger must come from judgment. Judgment is The weapon I would use against myself, to keep the miracle away from me. I know very new agey but read it again.
Are you interested in trying to stay connected during the holiday season? Yes?! Here we go:
A good way to start your day, would be to set the intention to stay connected or to be the observer, either writing it down or just thinking it when you wake up. Then throughout the day, every time something triggers you and you feel an emotion rising up, take that step back and become the observer again and again. Notice the sensations in your body and your thoughts without expressing them in that moment. Often we get angry, upset, etc. about the little things and the part of you that wants to express and ‘be right’ is not the same part that chooses the connection and happiness. And it’s not about suppressing anything either! It’s about taking that step back and noticing. You can always explain your point of view later on. Of course it’s easier said than done and if something major is happening that probably won’t work! Also if the emotion is too strong and you cannot handle it, maybe you could retreat for a moment and take a few breaths or go for a walk, ask for help to something higher – again only if that resonates, think of a mantra and repeat it mentally, listen to music, dance, do something that you know will alter your state. And if you really cannot do it and you explode during dinner (basically a normal Christmas in french families), well, it’s okay, don’t blame yourself, you are human, you tried, and you can try again next time, there will be plenty of opportunities! To finish on a nerdy note: may the force be with you and happy holidays!
